What’s it like being a working mom in 2022?
We asked our Bonneville Dam Resident Engineer, Martha Brandl, who balances her full-time position as a rockstar on our team with raising three children—including two twins. (That’s soon to be five, as Martha is expecting a second set of twins in May.)
Tell us about your kiddos. How old are they?
The twins are turning 2 next month, and my oldest is almost 4 years old.
What is it like being a working mom? What have the past two years, in particular, been like, by contrast to pre-pandemic?
Half my time as a mom has been during the pandemic, so I’m almost at the point of it being the norm. It’s challenging, but some aspects of it have made it easier, I think: online ordering/grocery pickups, being home in the morning to send them off to childcare, the ability to pump as much as I did that first year because I was teleworking. Those have been benefits that have helped me juggle both family life and work life.
Have your kids been at home with you some part or all of the past two years? Are they at home with you now?
They have been in daycare for majority of the pandemic. With the exception of provider closures or sickness—which was always a struggle to manage them being home and working, as babies and toddlers are a full-time job. I have a lot of respect for those parents with school age kids, trying to help them through online school at the same time as working. I don’t know how they did it.
What’s it like working at home with kids?
Fortunately, I don’t have to work with them home full time. But when they are here, it’s loud. To me, their collective volume is like white noise. I can tune it out. But it can make for a distracting phone call when you are trying to have a conversation and hear rambunctious babble in the background. I also try and manage what I can around naps or before they wake. Sometimes it’s working after hours or weekends to make sure I stay on top of the job.
In your opinion, why is it important to recognize working moms?
I've seen a meme that says, "We expect women to work like they don't have children, and to raise children like they don't work.” In other words, we expect moms to commit to both like a full-time job. Recognition of the double duty is important, and the best way to recognize working moms is to support them. This pandemic has brought more light on the need for support: by offering flexible hours, work from home, opportunities for career progression, living wages, affordable childcare options, etc. But women have still bore the brunt of job loss and negative career impacts over the course of the pandemic.
Recognizing and changing the predisposition to put undue pressure on women who want a career and to be a mom is important. I put enough pressure on myself without people making additional comments about who is raising my children while I am working. Being a mom is hard. You only want what you think is best for your children and for your family. I think only until you become a mom do you realize the self-sacrifices your own mother made for you, trying to give you the best future, for nothing in return.
In working and raising a family, I want my daughters to know that they can do anything—they don’t have to choose or go with what is expected of them. And I want my sons to know that there are no defined roles, that they are equal partners, and everyone does their share to support each other in work and in family.
Do you have a partner who also works? Who does more of the care for the kiddos? Or is it equally shared?
I couldn’t imagine having newborn twins, a toddler, and work, without an equal partner. Twins take a lot of teamwork. My husband also works full time, and we have equal share in our kids and our household. Based on our work schedules, he handles the morning routine and I handle the evening. Some nights, it’s hectic, and I have to resort to a takeout pizza or a box of Cheerios on the floor while I deal with a work issue. Honestly, I think those are the nights the kids like the best! But every step we all get a bit more self-sufficient, and the whole family is learning to adapt and take things as they come.
Are there any working moms you had as role models growing up whose experiences you can compare/contrast with your own? How was it different for them than what you’re experienced? Or is it not?
I have three sisters. All are full-time professionals, and two with growing families. It’s nice to have moral support, encouragement, and people to talk to about careers and working while having kids. I also work with several great women who have been in the workforce for more years and have paved the way for juggling raising kids and working. I’m grateful for their experiences and am glad some of the past stigma has dissipated with the current times.
Anything else you’d like to add?
I’m not sure if it was the pandemic or watching our kids grow too fast, but my husband and I decided to expand our family “just one” more time—and we are now expecting our second set of twins in May.
Congratulations, Martha!!